Happy Independence Day everybody!
Speaking of independence, my wife Julie religiously wears a helmet and I’m quite proud of the fact that she doesn’t let pressures from some of our so-called “Freedom of Choice” friends influence her decision to do so. It annoys me whenever an ABATE member (who should know better) says something like, “What the hell do you wear a helmet for? I thought that’s what ABATE is supposed to be all about!” Well, Freedom of Choice is what ABATE is supposed to be all about and I applaud it when she sticks to her convictions. And besides, doesn’t that just better serve to illustrate our point, especially to others who also choose to wear helmets?
As for myself, I usually prefer not to wear one because to ME, wearing one is so damned uncomfortable. And because of that I hadn’t really taken advantage of the beautiful scenery in neighboring Pennsylvania due to their past helmet law. For decades, after they first enacted their helmet law in the 70’s, I avoided riding there. Later, when it was repealed (just a few years ago), I re-discovered a whole state that isn’t too far from where I live that’s just full of twisty roads, hills, pine trees and mountains. And you can even (for the time being anyway) still smoke cigarettes in bars AND even in restaurants! That makes taking a break from riding that much more enjoyable to a nicotine addicted chain smoking fool like me. Like most of us, I’ve always despised any kind of restrictions. So, obviously, did a friend of mine named Pam.
I remember back in about 1984, or thereabouts, she and I rode to a weekend event called Harley Hill near East Liverpool, Ohio, which is just across the Ohio River from West Virginia. I think it was put on by a club called the Iron Horsemen. Moments after we finished pitching our tent, Pam, my string-bikini clad companion, asked me to take her to town to get some tequila. In fact I needed some Yukon Jack myself, so we left the grounds of the event on the scoot and headed to E. Liverpool in search of a State Store. Crossing a bridge in town, we found ourselves wandering around the streets of Chester, West Virginia thinking we were still in E. Liverpool, Ohio. Well, West Virginia had a helmet law, and there we were, cruising around helmetless and Pam was just about naked, when a cop pulls us over. Not paying close attention, I just assumed he wore the unfamiliar uniform of an E. Liverpool cop. The ensuing conversation went something like this:
He: “License and registration please.”
I handed it to him and he returned to his cruiser. Then, when he returned to us,
He: “And where do you think you two are going?”
Me: “We’re trying to find a liquor store.”
He: “Well you can’t ride anywhere around here like that!”
She: “And why the hell NOT?”
He: “Because it’s not legal.”
She: “It is so! Just because YOU have a problem with it doesn’t mean we’re breaking any law. Now if I were to do THIS, it would be different.”
At this point she decided to stand up on the rear pegs and expose her breasts in protest of what she thought was harassment over her semi-nudity, to assert her freedom and independence, and to poke the law in the face (which she almost did!)
He, jumping back: “You’d better cover yourself RIGHT NOW young lady! Have you two been drinking?”
Me: “Sir, I haven’t had a drop. That’s why we’re looking for a State Store.”
He: “A what store?”
Me: “A State Store.” (Apparently they didn’t call them State Stores in West Virginia).
He: “Do you two even know where you are?”
She: “Damned straight we do! We’re right here being hassled by a puritanical PIG! Oink Oink!”
Now, at this point I really didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I think he was sorta speechless too. But after a moment he sure got his voice back.
He: “I think you two should just get off the bike and we’ll have ya take a little sobriety test.”
After getting over the indignity of being a roadside spectacle (which I should have been used to since it occurred so often) I passed the test. I really hadn’t had anything to drink yet, but I was so used to stumbling on those damned tests that I almost screwed it up out of habit. Pam then took her turn, exaggerating her hip action and flashing her boobs for the passing traffic. Surprisingly (since she had more than a few drinks throughout the day) she too passed!
The cop lowered his head, shook it and sighed. Then he just handed me back my license and registration and told us to “git”. He also said we should be thankful he didn’t charge us with a FEW things.
Pam began to open her big mouth again but before she could say anything, he asked me, “You idiots really don’t know you’re in West Virginia do you? State law says you both have to wear helmets on this side of the river. Now get the hell back across the bridge before I change my mind.” Then to Pam he said, “And....PLEASE just keep those fine puppies covered up before you put somebody’s eye out!”
It wasn’t until THEN that I noticed the state patch on his arm and the shield on his cruiser. Needless to say we got on the quickest street to the bridge and Ohio ASAP.
I’ve been stopped by the cops more than a few times for lotsa things. And I learned long ago that the best defensive tactic is to ALWAYS co-operate and to be as courteous and respectful as I possibly can to police even if I have to fake it. They have the power, the guns and the law on their side no matter what! But for some reason, a few of those times I’ve had passengers on the back who just couldn’t keep their mouths shut because they were too dense to understand this simple fact of life. I’ve even been stopped for not wearing a helmet a few times in a number of states, including Ohio way back when. But so far I haven’t gotten a ticket (thank God), possibly because I WAS courteous. That and I feigned (?) stupidity. It’s amazing what you can get away with when yer stoopid.
We’ve been dealing with the helmet issue for so long we forget that it infringes on our basic right to do what we want with our own bodies. Whether or not we wear a helmet, a seat belt, or silky lace underwear (oops-I sure didn’t mean to let that out!) is truly nobody’s business but our own.
When we’re little kids and first begin to develop social skills, the first thing that becomes apparent is we almost need to align ourselves with whatever is considered normal among our peers. The last thing we want is to stand out from, or be considered different than, everybody else. We just wanna be one of the bunch: To be accepted. Our parents might ask us, “If so and so jumped off a bridge, you wouldn’t would you?” Well the truth is we probably would, if we had the nerve to jump.
Then as we become teenagers this need to conform builds until it reaches the point that the most important thing in our lives is whether or not we have a date for the senior prom. The social pressure to be included in “what’s happening” and to be like everybody else is almost brutal, and we’d do just about anything, including compromising our morals and/or our ethics to be accepted. We might try to show our independence at times by wearing funny clothes or a different hairstyle, but we’re often the same as everybody else in our non-conformity. We might speak out against social accordance in the classroom, but in our next breath we can accuse a classmate of being weird. Because of that kind of thinking, what people do and how they act becomes everyone else’s business. It’s usually for the group to decide whether or not anything is acceptable behavior. Clusters of high school girls (and boys) gather together daily in hallways of high schools across the country to discuss the latest gossip about who did what to whom under the bleachers at the football game.
Some people never grow out of this. As an adult they might be the guy that insists everybody’s yard in the neighborhood is free from fallen leaves in the autumn. He might complain to the authorities if you have one too many yard sales or a broken down old Buick in your back yard. In fact, I’ve seen groups of people suddenly form a “mob mentality” to persecute people for all sorts of reasons. All you have to do is be the focus of any crowd’s attention and they can turn on you in a heartbeat. One of them might even start screaming something like, “His empty trash cans have been left on the curb for days! Let’s hang him! Somebody get a rope!” The bad thing is that somebody just might; and then you’re hung, or at least ya might have to pay some kind of fine. These same people are of the type that insists we all wear helmets. And others of that SAME type might sneer if we DO wear one. People like that always seem to know what’s best for everyone else.
I once (VERY briefly) dated someone who couldn’t let go of the fact that I always prefer to wear riding goggles instead of the more fashionable “shades” when I ride. She didn’t think goggles looked “cool”. Now I ask you, how could “Bummer” NOT look cool? And does that really matter as much as personal preference? To me, goggles are comfortable and practical since I don’t usually use a windshield and often ride at speeds over 45 MPH.
No matter what ya do, somebody is gonna have an opinion about it. That’s just human nature. What’s screwed up is when some people think their opinion about what ya do is more important than yours.
It never is.
Bummer
