January 2012

    Note: I gotta warn yuns....this is gonna be a long one and a bit “out there” (even for me), and probably even boring to some who will say this is way out of place. If you start and decide you don’t wanna finish it, at least please read the 3rd paragraph from the end.
    Further note: This is all my opinion and in no way reflects this magazine or this organization.

Happy New Year everybody!!
    Wow.....It’s 2012!! Each New Year is so full of promise. But as THIS year progresses some of you might be getting kinda disturbed about something that is simple sensationalism inspired by people wanting to make a pile of money from a fearful society.
    This column is called “Shootin’ the Breeze” because it’s only my stories, my opinions and my chance to run off at the mouth to anyone who wants to read it. So I’m gonna take a big leap and do exactly that this month and get something off of my chest. I’ve considered writing about this for some time, but I didn’t only because you might think I was being too much of a “weirdo” by paying too much attention to nonsense. But something occurred, and I felt I finally had to say something. And by now y’all know I’m a weirdo anyway, so WTF?
    Before I jump into it, what I have to say shouldn’t agitate or increase anyone’s anxieties, but might soothe concerns about something that we’re gonna be hearing a LOT more about for the next 12 months. If you’ve thought of all this yourself, perhaps you’ll agree that someone SHOULD mention it ....and the earlier in the year, the better.
    Most of you have been hearing about how the Mayan calendar and numerous prophecies state that December 21st, 2012 is supposed to be “Doomsday” (according to some people who say they know what’s what). It’s been the subject of countless books, newspaper stories and magazine articles. A couple of major movies, a bunch of TV documentaries, and more than a few internet websites are actually dedicated to it. On “slow” news days it’s even being mentioned on “legitimate” news broadcasts.
    We’ve been exposed to paranoid “End of the World” claims from preachers, scientists, and anybody else who thinks that people might listen to them for most of our lives. But these days it’s becoming almost constant. Movies about rogue comets striking Earth, ozone depletion creating world catastrophe, a new Ice Age rapidly developing due to global warming, and even freak flu epidemics turning the population into flesh-eating zombies are on TV almost every night. When all that is combined with the current political, economic, and ecological state of the world in which we live, it’s no wonder that a lot of people might feel that their worst fears will soon be substantiated.
    Since I’m a history freak and have been all my life, I’ve known about this Mayan calendar thing for a long time and how it’s supposed to state that time will end on this specific date. In fact, I did a college paper on this and related stuff over 40 years ago, and of course because of that, I’ve paid particular attention to any mention of this.

    First off: Even IF the Mayans of South America could have seen the future by reading the stars, then how in the HELL could a few hundred Spanish soldiers, sailors and priests even have been allowed to drop anchor, let alone establish a vice-like grip, on a whole continent....thereby allowing a mere few thousand MORE Spaniards to follow bringing devastating disease and complete social upheaval? These Europeans successfully conquered, converted, enslaved or slaughtered literally millions of Indians, looting everything they had, particularly their gold. AND the natives are known to have been advanced, and even somewhat blood-thirsty, military-based, war-like societies. I mean, we’re not talkin’ about a peace-loving culture of hippies here!
    Talk about major screw-ups! And although the Spanish DID have a few horses, a few cannons and some REALLY inaccurate firearms to their advantage that the Indians DIDN’T have, the massive numbers of Indians (who were VERY organized) could have easily stomped the living hell outta them if they wanted to. But they didn’t, only because they thought the Spanish were GODS! Granted, historians claim that the Spanish happened to land in South America on the exact day that Indian priests were happily expecting a God to show up, but not THEM for chrissakes!
    So, if their so-called “precise” forecasting abilities, or even their religion, were in any way valid, well what the hell happened?
    Mayan architects, mathematicians and astronomers were very accomplished. And their calendar was incredibly accurate (in some ways more-so than the Gregorian calendar that WE use) and intended to end on a certain date, which just happens to be 12/21/2012. But the people who figured it out HAD to stop thinking into the future at some point! To them concerns about the future regarding this calendar were primarily agricultural. And this “ending” date was just the beginning of a new astrological cycle (one of many).....not “Doomsday”!

    Next: Of ALL the prophecies, forecasts and warnings for the future that “seers” over the past few thousand years have made, I’ve yet to hear of ONE that was completely and specifically accurate. It’s a con-game where certain things are implied, and the people whom the “seers” are trying to impress make their own guided conclusions. That’s why exact dates are hardly ever mentioned.
    The only actual “Doomsday” that’s been historically significant was the “Doomsday Book” that William the Conqueror created in the year 1086 AD (sorta like England’s first census) so he could tax everyone efficiently. His people felt they were “doomed” (like a lot of us feel each April).
    Sure, in the mid to late 1500’s, Nostradamus was close on a few mystifying predictions, but most of his “quatrains” were subject to so much loose interpretation that a LOT of things could have been meant by any of them. He didn’t even once mention “Doomsday” (or that date) no matter what anybody says. In fact, he himself wrote that his various predictions were good up until the year 3797AD.
    Here in the United States during the first few years of the 1840’s, a minister named William Miller preached that “The End” was coming between March 1843 and March 1844. Over 100,000 people calling themselves “Millerites” (very prosperous people for the most part) sold absolutely everything they had, gave all their money to Miller and headed to the mountains to wait for it. Well, of course nothing happened. Then Miller’s preachers said it would occur instead in Oct. of 1844. When THAT didn’t happen, they called it “The Great Disappointment” and set about forming a new church that still exists to this day, but we won’t go there (and no, they’re not the Mormons).
    Another widely acclaimed and more recent “seer”, Edgar Cayce (1877-1945) who some say founded the “New Age Movement”, never even mentioned it.
    But for now it seems that whoever wants to sell a book, be on some kind of TV program, or make a movie, well, all they gotta do is to say that something new has been discovered about 12/21/12 and there ya go! The same is true about the so-called Chinese Prophecies, the Egyptian Prophecies and the Booga Booga Prophecies! Somebody even says they dug up some kind of native North American Indian Prophecies about 12/21! Gimme a break!!

    Also: Astronomers DO speculate that the year 2012 will be strange due to solar activity. And they think that the planets aligning (like they’ve done in the past a few times) might make the weather weird. But these kinda things come in cycles and have occurred before. We’re still here, AND we’re okay.

    Finally: It’s incredible to me that people who would normally scoff at things like fairies, astrology, dragons, E.T.s, ghosts, unicorns and Santa Claus....people who normally wouldn’t show a speck of magical thinking OR even any spirituality whatsoever, would suddenly start believing that ANYONE from a thousand years ago would know the exact date that the world is gonna end just because somebody wrote a book, or some multi-million dollar corporation made a movie, and everyone’s talking about it. Wouldn’t the people writing the book or filming the movie be busy building an elaborate underground bunker, instead of wasting time writing or filming about it if they actually believed their own bullshit? It’s kinda like those books on making money that promise to make anyone who buys ‘em ridiculously wealthy. Well, if that works so well, how come THEY”RE not doing it instead of writing about it? Maybe that’s because THEY are making THEIR money by selling us the damned books!!!
    Sure, we’ve been headed to a bad place for a long time, and we’ll probably get there one of these days if we don’t get our collective acts together. So don’t ya think we should concentrate on how to do that? Instead, we listen to people like these “The sky is falling” nuts who are just like those thirty-nine “Heaven’s Gate” dudes who on March 19th, 1997 all wore Nike athletic shoes, each of them having a five dollar bill and three quarters in their pockets (for some insane reason) as they committed group suicide thinking it would free their souls to ride away in a spacecraft that was trailing the Hale-Bopp comet. Or perhaps like the incredibly (and sadly) idiotic adults (supposedly mature people) in Jonestown, Guyana who drank (and served their kids) some not-so refreshing Kool-Aid with Jim Jones on Nov. 18th, 1978 because HE got busted by a visiting congressman, had him murdered, and then convinced everybody that it was “The End” and that they’d all go to Heaven if they killed themselves. 918 men, women and children died that day.
    As 12/21/12 approaches I bet a lot of people are gonna try to hoard toilet paper, cans of food, or gallons of bottled water to put in their basements. Well, THAT might not be a bad idea anyway because of occasional power failures, plumbing problems or losing your driver’s license (just kidding). I remember my father telling me that he actually considered building a bomb-shelter back in the “Cold War” days of the early 1960’s. Then he snapped out of it and asked himself, “Even IF we could survive a nuclear strike...what then?” So he just crossed his fingers and hoped for the best with the rest of humanity.
    In short, the problems that I see arising on Dec. 21st this year are all about the simple fact that the people who are convinced that SOMETHING is gonna happen, might do SOMETHING really stupid.

    But please remember this:Your kids, grand-kids, nephews, and nieces might be absolutely TERRIFIED from things they hear from their friends, or on TV (or whatever). As this year progresses look for that, and if they have fears, talk to them about it and reassure them.....don’t just laugh it off and change the subject. Kids shouldn’t even be exposed to shit like this, and they tend to believe anything they see on TV because they’re so confused (especially teenagers). This is only January my friends, and even the little kids have already been seeing scary TV commercials for documentaries like,”2012: The End of the World” on the History channel, for the last few years. One of those came on the tube as my granddaughters and I were watching cartoons on Nickelodeon one morning, and both of them said they’ve already known about it for some time! THAT is what prompted me to write all this. And believe me it’s going to get much worse over the next twelve months because there’s a lot MORE money yet to be made from milking the public as we get closer to December. My adult son Ben told me that a whole lotta people are already paying big bucks to book reservations for a trip to Pico Peko (or whatever) in Bolivia (or some crazy place) just so they can drink Champaign and party on top of a Mayan pyramid on 12/21. It reminds me of that scene in the movie “Independence Day” where those chicks are on the roof of a building flashing their boobs and holding up signs to welcome the aliens. And the insanity has just begun.
    Now, even if you completely disagree with me about all of this and you REALLY think the worst IS gonna happen, then what I say doesn’t really matter, does it? But at least try to step easy regarding the kids, for their sakes. And if everything I’ve said doesn’t mean anything to ya because you think I’m just being a concerned idiot....I can live with that. I’m proud to say I’ve been an idiot all my life. And being concerned ain’t ever anything to be ashamed of.

    Alright, I’m outta here...talk to ya next month (if they’ll still let me). Sorry about the length. Making my own prediction: I’m gonna be attending the national motorcyclist’s rights “Meeting of the Minds” held here in Ohio in 2013 with a lot of other fine folks from all over the world. But MY predictions don’t mean squat to anybody, including me.

                                Bummer