Shootin' the Breeze

by "Bummer"

bummer @ abate

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March/April 2019

How the heck y’all doin’?

    Well people, it’s time once again for me to break out that file that I keep on my computer that’s full of the odds and ends that I’ve remembered, come up with, or noticed since the last time I did this.... and no, I don’t think I’ve seen any of them posted as someone else’s “Deep Thoughts” on Facebook... yet. LOL! But feel free to do whatever you want with them with or without giving me credit if you think they might mean something to you. (Just NOT the snippet of the untitled song I’ve included below... I’ll sue yer ass LMAO!)

    The name I’ve given to this collection of various impressions and philosophical insights is “Partial Thoughts”. When I can’t think of a damned thing to write about, I might use some of them as inspiration for a column or to be mentioned in one... so don’t be surprised if I still decide to use some of these ideas in upcoming issues.

    Most of this stuff is original unless otherwise noted. However, some of it might have wandered into the subconscious of what is left of my twisted brain from somewhere else without me even realizing it.

    Some of these things I’ve thought were quite profound at one time or another, others not so much, and others I’ve included just because it was stupid shit that I came up with or has caught my attention. Like I requested when I’ve done this in the past, please ponder and consider each one separately.

    Okay, here we go...

        “Just because something is damaged doesn’t mean we should throw it away... this particularly applies to people we once called friends.”

        “Pretty” is only good for the eyes. A rattlesnake is “pretty” (got this from a Louis L’amour novel where an old cowboy teaches a young cowboy about saloon-girls).

        “I’ve realized that everything we have, everything we spend our lives striving and struggling to possess, will only be ours to use temporarily and sooner or later it will all belong to someone else.”

        “Emotionally constipated” (Refers to someone who just can’t relax and enjoy life because they’re too preoccupied with dumb stuff)

        Conversation referring to a quote - “Who said that originally?” “I dunno... probably Shakespeare. Seems he said everything.”

        “She was playing him like a pinball machine... the poor guy was bouncing back and forth all over the place.”

        “I looked and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.” – Revelation 6:8 (was gonna put this on a white pearl gas tank I once had, but it seemed a bit much LOL)

        To “resume” doing something is spelled the same as in “job resume.”

        “To appoint can also disappoint.”

        “In the middle of the journey of my life I found myself alone in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost” ~ Dante’s Inferno (I’ve sure been there before... I think most of us have.)

        “I don’t understand... but there are so MANY things I don’t understand.”

        “There sure are a lot of ‘Mikes’ out there.”

        Someone said that 17.3 million people really think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. Not sure how they came up with that number but maybe they polled a group of voters and multiplied.

        “He (or she) is irresponsibly self-indulgent.” This could apply to my former self too... all ya gotta do is ask my ex-wives, look at my big gut, or notice all my past DUIs! (It takes some people longer to mature properly LOL!)

        “Welcome to the economy.” to a young person bitching about high prices and/or lack of money.

        “To find yourself in a position where your life is of little value to anyone else is to find the ultimate loneliness.”

        “Some sneezes feel so good I’m surprised they’re not illegal.”

        Remember when being called “Biker Trash” wasn’t cool OR funny?

        “I didn’t even know where I was going until I got there.” – Carol (Character from “The Walking Dead” TV program.)

        “He’s not just a sucker, he’s a f%$@ing lollipop!”

        Old folk’s phone sex... “Huh?” “Whatcha say? “Eh?” “Say that again?” “You wanna do WHAT?” “Put that thing WHERE?”

        “He isn’t easy to get along with... he hates EVERYBODY!”

        “This may be evidence of a parallel universe.”

            I’ve spent my life finding some big mistakes,
            have turned out to be my biggest breaks.
            And when I’d written my saddest song,
            t’was about chances unnoticed until gone...
            instead of valuing those marvelous things,
            I had passed them by un-noticing.

        “It isn’t man who exploits man - it’s the other way around.” (paraphrasing economist and author John Kenneth Galbraith lol)

        A woman named Molly Schubert who weighs in at about 120 lbs. ate 501 wings in 30 minutes breaking her previous record of 435 wings. (Big burp)

        “My tattoos were done in invisible ink... ya gotta ask me about ‘em.”

        “When she talks, she laughs... when she walks, she dances!” (about someone special)

        Just remember: The most evil people among us do not think of themselves as evil. And because of that, they can justify everything they do... otherwise they probably wouldn’t do it. To a certain degree, we’re all moral contortionists that way.

        “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” – Edmund Burke ~ Irish statesman 1729 – 1797.

        “Sometimes we reach for things that just aren’t there.”

        “Human beings are the only animals that have sex face to face.”

        “The only thing we really have left of those we’ve loved and lost for whatever reason is their ideas.”

        “Quantum Dimensional Theory of Space and Time” - Too deep for me to even begin to understand what the hell this means.

        Things I’ve learned in my life:
            (1.) ANYTHING is possible.
            (2.) Everything that any person chooses to do or not to do is a matter of priorities.
            (3.) Sometimes ya gotta take the wrong turns to get to the right place.
            (4.) I think the most important thing we can have in ANY situation is hope.

    “We are all born innocent.”

    “I’ve always despised “shallow” kisses... gimme lotsa tongue or just shake my hand.”

    “I was so focused on the woman I brought home that if a neighbor knocked on my door and told me my house was on fire I woulda told him to come back tomorrow.”

    “I might not be ‘good’, but I’m good enough to know what ‘good’ is supposed to be!” – Dean Martin’s character in one of his more “serious” movies... I forget which one. I liked Dean!

    “In a strong wind even chickens can fly.” ~ from an old guy in my neighborhood when I was a little kid.

    “Sometimes it’s worth having an itch just so it can be scratched!”

    “What a disappointment! Like waiting in a long line at a swap-meet or concert to use a Porta-Potty, and ya find that when you’ve finally reached your destination all ya had was a little gas!” – sorta like something most of us have seen in crappers (“Here I sit broken hearted etc.”)

    Well, now that we’ve reached the end of all THIS, I hope my scrambled thoughts meant more to you than just a little gas. I know I feel a whole lot better!! (Whew!) LOL!

Talk at ya next time,

    PS... When y’all finally get to push those scoots out to begin enjoying this new riding season don’t ride excited, and BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

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